Here's a snapshot of my life:
January - Hubby was at training for deployment
February - Hubby came home to NY for a minute
March - Hubby deployed and my almost 2 year old daughter and pregnant me moved to UT
September - Hubby home for 2 days, induced hubby met baby boy for a week and then returned to Afghanistan
December - I prepped for the 3 of us to move back to NY before hubby returned early January.
January - Crappy weather, cancelled flights, a day of driving and we finally got in the day before hubby got there. My in-laws helped me get everything out of storage in a day and hubby came home that night to a house full of boxes.
WE ARE ALIVE AND TOGETHER and that is all that matters
Here's the thing friends. I love everyone of you, but I will guarantee you that there is not a person in this world who has any idea of everything that I went through. Just like I will not even claim to know what anyone else is going through. So when I read this post from a mommy blog I follow I felt somewhat justified in my two year old's recent tantrums realizing that it is not our crazy situation that has made her so..... tantrumy. Then I saw this response:
Phyllis Tolmich Conklin this type of behavior would never had been tolerated by my parents, I'm from a different generation. tantrums were never tolerated and we were told to go to our room (and we knew better not to) until we could talk like a human being. Then the problem was dealt with. This is one of the problems with today's kids, they aren't taught what is acceptable, parents stand there "dumb-founded" or just give in because it's easier. Kids need boundaries and guidance & aren't taught those. My 3 year old granddaughter told a little boy having a tantrum in a store to stop, he was being bad. I wanted to hide but good for her!
Dear Ms. Conklin, you were right on one regard, you are from a different generation. I am going to attempt not to be too emotional about this, but your response kind of made my blood boil. Don't assume that you are the perfect parent. Don't assume that you have perfected the art of avoiding tantrums. Here's the thing, your granddaughter had a good day on the day that the little boy had a tantrum. DO NOT compare her good times with the worst times of others. That's a bad practice at any point in life.
Let me tell you a little bit about my daughter who just threw a tantrum because my husband brought her milk (remember the post, "Before you have kids, you think it's the diapers or the late nights or the mortification of trading in your car for a minivan. But really, it's the mind games. It's the daily, hourly micro-aggressions involved in living with totally volatile and irrational people. It's the gray matter that gets lost each day when you try to reason with the unreasonable. It's the tax on your brain of trying to keep your cool when they lose theirs." yeah, that rang all too true today). Yeah she throws tantrums AND she is absolutely amazing. She is getting better at sticking her nose in the corner when she has done something disrespectful. She is learning her ABC's like a champ. She is going to be one of the most resilient people in the world for all the change that she takes like its nothing. She has lived in 5 different homes in her short two and a half years and she is the thing that lights up my world and keeps me happy while we move. She has learned to say please and thank you. She has just recently picked up the habit of saying excuse me. And yet, she still has tantrums. Are you kidding me? Of course we are taking measures to reduce the tantrums, but don't be so holier than thou to forget that you are human with human children and make a blanket statement demeaning every parent in this generation. I highly doubt that you never made a mistake as a parent so I would politely request you to think before you comment about how terrible today's parents are. We are doing our best in the ever changing arena of parenting. What's more, I don't understand why you, as a grandparent, are trolling mommy blogs. Go read something that pertains to where you are in life, it'll be better use of your time and a little less offensive when you comment about things that you aren't even in the middle of anymore.
Okay, I got emotional. I apologize. I am defensive because I am friends with people who are amazing parents. I do my best day in and day out. I respect my parents and their great parenting along with my grandparents. I think we are all tied together because we can relate to some degree about what it's like. And yet, I have found that when my daughter was 18 months and I would talk to friends who had newborns I was already in a position where I had forgotten the exact struggles that a parent of a newborn is going through. And that was only in a little over a years time. The toddler years are tough. Parenting at any age is tough. One thing I can guarantee you though is that no one person knows exactly what anyone else is going through, so do me a favor. Don't judge me because I am doing my best and that is all anyone can do!!
And for your viewing pleasure, this reminded me of this little video.....
