Letter to the AAP

Dear American Academy of Pediatrics,

Thank you so much for all of the literature that you supply to first time parents. I read it thoroughly. Your website has some great advice. As a pregnant mother I wanted the best for my baby so I knew that I wanted to look to experts like yourselves. 

However, I regret to inform you that some of your tactics didn't work on my child. Really, I tried. 

#1 - Keep the baby in your room for the first year. 

I was excited for this one. My sweet little dumpling by my side. Bonding, motherhood, friendship at it's best. I just knew that there was no other way to have it. 

I neglected to calculate in the early morning PT (physical training) that my husband had to attend. 5:30 to be exact. Sometimes earlier. The alarm woke the baby who had sometimes only been asleep from her last cry for an hour or so. It was great. I pushed through it though. I trusted that you had the experience and the knowledge to have accounted for something like this in your blanket statement that babies should stay in the room for the first year. Any good researcher would take that into consideration right?! 

I mean the best way to raise a child is with two parents. One or both of which are going to have to work. Which means getting up somewhat early to get ready. You accounted for that right?? Because I assumed you did and I stuck it out. For 4 months of a waking baby early in the morning I stuck it out. 

I regretted having to move my child into her own room at month 4. I knew I must have done something wrong. After I moved her she started sleeping 10-12 hours a night. That's bad right. I mean if I didn't follow your advice, you who know children, who study children; nothing good could come from it right?! 

#2 - Don't let your child watch TV until they are at least one year old

Okay, I was so gung-ho about this one that we decided to just get the internet instead of the cable package. We still don't have it. And then I found she likes TV. It keeps her entertained. For at least the time it takes me to do a load of dishes. 

Do you have children?? When do you clean your dishes if they can't watch a little Baby Einstein before they are one? I doubt your dishes are very clean. Unless you have a maid. You probably have a maid since you probably need the quiet time the TV provides to create more guidelines for us as parents. When was your last child under the age of one. Could I just get some demographic information of the people that are creating these guidelines. 

#3 - The baby should only sleep on its back

Awesome. My baby just learned to roll on her tummy. I lay her on her back and she originally rolled to her side. She was a side sleeper. I tried to stop it. I would push her over with a quick jab, I thought the quicker I did it the less she would wake from her sleep. She got sneaky. I would walk out of the room and then she would turn. I swear! I didn't know it was happening. Now she knows how to roll on her stomach and she does it in her crib. I turn her over. It wakes her up. I hate that. I love my sleep time. 

Could you possibly work it out to have someone take shifts to come turn my baby on her back at night when she rolls on her tummy? I just don't have the energy to do it all night. Just let me know who is coming and I will leave a spare key out. 

I am sure that there were more guidelines that I have failed to follow. I apologize. BUT my baby is healthy and happy. Really. I don't think there was too much separation anxiety from the room change. She hasn't started cursing me yet for her TV addiction (I do limit it to an hour a day at least). Really, it's just the sleeping thing that I worry about. Trust me SIDS would affect me a lot harsher than it would affect you. So let me know when you will start sending people. I am ready.   

Culture Shock Much??

So I was a student. A very busy student. I studied business. I used my place of residence mainly for sleeping and occasionally eating.


Then I had a baby and everything that I was used to was flipped upside down. I was home more than I was out of the home. I was finding that even with being at home all day the things that I had to do were more than I could keep up with (especially with a teething baby or a fussy baby or just a baby who I wanted to hold and love occasionally) I guess I figured that stay-at-home-moms had it super easy because all they had to do was keep the house clean, make food and play. Right?! WRONG!!

How did I think that? How did the number of things that I needed to do in the home multiply overnight.

I guess I can name a few specific factors:

1- my husband is in the hardest part of flight school, I see him about 35 minutes a day. Prayers, daily prep and meal time. He is so busy I try to make life easier for him. Meaning he has very little time to do any family errands.

2- I have health issues that give me the energy of a 50 year old. Which would be awesome if that 50 year old were one of my in-laws who are still running lots of miles a day and stay all around super busy and happy and energetic. No my friend, when the doctor said I most likely have the energy of a 50 year old, I think he meant one who was lethargic for a good portion of the day. Serious. I try to have energy, and I do well. From about 6 am till the morning nap (for the baby that is) and then until noon or one. After that I am forcing myself to do things on less energy than when I was in the first trimester of my pregnancy. And for some reason I feel like a shmuck if I take a nap. So no naps. Just pressing forward. Slowly.

3- Can you say laundry? Let it go for one day and you spend a week catching back up!

4- Hobbies. I feel like a terrible mother, wife, and all around person if I am doing my hobbies before getting my house clean. Said hobbies include things like exercise, blogging, reading. Things that may rejuvenate myself and possibly give me energy. No, not until chores are finished. Why do I do that to myself??

5- The lack of ability to say no. Or let something go undone if I know I can accomplish it. So there's this project that would be fine if left undone. No one would know the difference. Except me. So I do it. I use the little energy I have and I do this project which in turn backs up the laundry AND the dishes. Stresses me, which stresses the baby, which means naps are either short or nonexistent. Which doesn't help with the completion of the project.
My hair is falling out, WHY does that have to happen after pregnancy?? Hey you just made this gorgeous little being with perfect eyes, hair, organs so as a reward let's make your hair thinner..... Frizzy since you are now in a humid climate and thinner. Awesome.

Anyway, as I was thinking about the changes that I went through when I became a full time stay at home mom I realized that the only way to explain it would be culture shock.
How do I prepare my daughter to be successful while lessening the culture shock of staying at home. Not that I am a total homebody, I get out. I interact as much as I can. I go to every play group and Mommy meet up I can find. Yet a good majority of the day I am in the home. Why did that shock the system so much??

And in 4 months how has it changed so that I love it now? When I am out too long I am thinking about the laundry that I need to do. When was that shift? I love the fact that my baby girl needed me to hold her for her naps for every nap one day. That won't happen forever.

I am still learning. I wish I would have taken Child Development and cooking and sewing classes. But I guess I am getting the best course there is! Right here, right now is my crash course in motherhood. It comes with mistakes I can laugh at and experiences I will never forget. No class could have given me that! Not to the depth I am getting it right now. I love being a stay at home mom!

Sleep is nice!

Theory: don't let your baby fall asleep at the bottle
Reality: when my baby is overtired the bottle works...does that make me a bad mom?