Letter to the AAP

Dear American Academy of Pediatrics,

Thank you so much for all of the literature that you supply to first time parents. I read it thoroughly. Your website has some great advice. As a pregnant mother I wanted the best for my baby so I knew that I wanted to look to experts like yourselves. 

However, I regret to inform you that some of your tactics didn't work on my child. Really, I tried. 

#1 - Keep the baby in your room for the first year. 

I was excited for this one. My sweet little dumpling by my side. Bonding, motherhood, friendship at it's best. I just knew that there was no other way to have it. 

I neglected to calculate in the early morning PT (physical training) that my husband had to attend. 5:30 to be exact. Sometimes earlier. The alarm woke the baby who had sometimes only been asleep from her last cry for an hour or so. It was great. I pushed through it though. I trusted that you had the experience and the knowledge to have accounted for something like this in your blanket statement that babies should stay in the room for the first year. Any good researcher would take that into consideration right?! 

I mean the best way to raise a child is with two parents. One or both of which are going to have to work. Which means getting up somewhat early to get ready. You accounted for that right?? Because I assumed you did and I stuck it out. For 4 months of a waking baby early in the morning I stuck it out. 

I regretted having to move my child into her own room at month 4. I knew I must have done something wrong. After I moved her she started sleeping 10-12 hours a night. That's bad right. I mean if I didn't follow your advice, you who know children, who study children; nothing good could come from it right?! 

#2 - Don't let your child watch TV until they are at least one year old

Okay, I was so gung-ho about this one that we decided to just get the internet instead of the cable package. We still don't have it. And then I found she likes TV. It keeps her entertained. For at least the time it takes me to do a load of dishes. 

Do you have children?? When do you clean your dishes if they can't watch a little Baby Einstein before they are one? I doubt your dishes are very clean. Unless you have a maid. You probably have a maid since you probably need the quiet time the TV provides to create more guidelines for us as parents. When was your last child under the age of one. Could I just get some demographic information of the people that are creating these guidelines. 

#3 - The baby should only sleep on its back

Awesome. My baby just learned to roll on her tummy. I lay her on her back and she originally rolled to her side. She was a side sleeper. I tried to stop it. I would push her over with a quick jab, I thought the quicker I did it the less she would wake from her sleep. She got sneaky. I would walk out of the room and then she would turn. I swear! I didn't know it was happening. Now she knows how to roll on her stomach and she does it in her crib. I turn her over. It wakes her up. I hate that. I love my sleep time. 

Could you possibly work it out to have someone take shifts to come turn my baby on her back at night when she rolls on her tummy? I just don't have the energy to do it all night. Just let me know who is coming and I will leave a spare key out. 

I am sure that there were more guidelines that I have failed to follow. I apologize. BUT my baby is healthy and happy. Really. I don't think there was too much separation anxiety from the room change. She hasn't started cursing me yet for her TV addiction (I do limit it to an hour a day at least). Really, it's just the sleeping thing that I worry about. Trust me SIDS would affect me a lot harsher than it would affect you. So let me know when you will start sending people. I am ready.